More 50th birthday poems and jokes:
- Your back goes out more than you do.
- The cardiologist's diet:
if it tastes good, spit it out.
- Paulina Borsook
- You're asleep, but others worry that you're dead.
- The best birthdays of all are those that haven’t arrived yet.
- The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.
- First you forget names,
then you forget faces,
then you forget to pull your zipper up,
then you forget to pull your zipper down.
- Leo Rosenberg
- I get up each morning and dust off my wits,
then pick up the paper and read the"o-bits."
If my name isn't there, then I know I'm not dead.
I eat a good breakfast and go back to bed.
-Anonymous
- May you live all the days of your life.
- Your best friend is dating someone half their age ..... and isn't breaking any laws.
- At my age I don't care if my mind starts to wander- just as long as it comes back again.
- Mike Knowles
- Don’t be sad you are another year older… Be grateful for another year lived!!
- Middle age is when a narrow waist and a broad mind begin to change places.
- Glenn Dorenbush
- Growing old is mandatory but growing up is optional.
- Men are like wine; some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.
- You sing along with the elevator music.
- When you can finally afford the rings you want, you'd rather no one noticed your hands.
-Lois Muehl
- You would rather go to work than stay home sick.
- Instead of thinking of 50th birthday party ideas, you’re talking about the price of gasoline!
- You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
- You take a metal detector to the beach.
- You know you’re getting old when you can’t remember how old you are!
- You wear black socks with sandals.
- A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police.
- Henny Youngman
- You talk about "good grass" and you're referring to someone's lawn.
- You get into a heated argument about pension plans.
- Inside every older person is a younger person– wondering what the hell happened.
- When your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.
- When all you want for your birthday is to not be reminded of your age.
- Your idea of weight lifting is standing up.
- You forgot that you already had your 50th birthday.
- It takes longer to rest than it did to get tired.
- Your address book has mostly names that start with Dr.
- You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.
- Getting "lucky" means you found your car in the parking lot.
- “He that is not handsome at 20, nor strong at 30, nor rich at 40, nor wise at 50, will never be handsome, strong, rich or wise.” - George Herbert
- You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.
-Ogden Nash
If you come up with any funny 50th birthday poems or jokes that you'd like to share with us, we'd be happy to put them on our website!
